" I will proclaim the LORD’s decree: He said to me, “You are my son; today I have become your father." Psalm 2:7 "Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me." Psalm 27:10
This is an issue that breaks my heart; this is something that doesn't necessarily "ruffle my feathers" but I get very, very passionate about this. We all know the importance to our parents here on this earth; for the first few years of our lives they're God to us. They're the biggest and strongest people we know, they provide for us and they protect us. The impact of our parents on our lives are so pivotal for our development and for who we become in our lives. Do you follow me?
Do you ever wonder why God refers to Himself as "Father?" Since sin entered the world, fathers are what the enemy pays particular attention to. The father is the head of the household, the leader and the protector. (NOT BECAUSE MEN ARE ANY BETTER!! It's how God set it up, no other reason truly needed.) Since then, fathers have been estranged, attacked, lead astray, corrupted and attacked non stop leaving a wake of destruction for their families. Not sure how many times I've seen, girls in particular, young people looking to relationships to fill the void of that love and affection that their fathers didn't fill.
Hear me, though: this isn't a cop-out to blame your dad for all of your issues; they're human just like us who make mistakes. It's good to realize where our insecurities come from so that God can fill those and fulfill our needs, whichever they may be. It's good to recognize where our hurts and hang-ups come from and to acknowledge the fact that they are there and not to run and hide when they arise. Healing doesn't exist when there is no pain-- why else would we need healing if there was no hurt?
I recognize that there are many boys who walk around in man suits. It's such a shame that so many men of this age are really just boys and have no right to call themselves men. Do men leave their wives and kids for another woman? Does a real man, leader, husband place his own wants and desires over his family's? Does Christ? We men are told to love our wives as He loves the church and gave Himself up for the church. There are no mitigating circumstances that justify or excuse a husband/father to forsake his family and there isn't any good reason. The lasting effects are drastic and leave a ripple affect in the lives of his kids. If their father left them, then won't God, our heavenly Father, leave us too?
But you know, through all of our pains and all of our struggles and pains, we have one Constant in our lives. And that is our heavenly Father. He never leaves us nor forsakes us and is always true to His word. Don't you know that He wants to be your Father? He will take you for all that you are, no matter the hurts, no matter the pains! He doesn't love you "in spite" of them; He loves you through them! "In spite of" implies not full acceptance and He takes us for all that we are. It breaks His heart when He sees His children tossed aside and scarred and beaten. Don't you know He wants to take your burdens? He is Father to the fatherless and is near to the broken hearted. He loves you.
God says to you, "I am your Father. I won't leave you, nor will I cast you aside for something else. I love you for all that you are and I am proud of you. Come to Me."
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Whoa!
There are times in your life where all you can do is just say, "Whoa. Amazing. Breath taking. Indescribable." I just had one of those weeks while leading a cabin of 5 amazing Jr highers who are sure fire after the heart of their heavenly Father. When young people are all for God's plan for their lives, His identity for them, His dreams for their lives, the heavens shake and the destiny of the entire world becomes shifted. In those times, they're not world changers of the future, but are changing the world right now in what they are partaking in. They are experiencing heaven on earth, when "heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss" and His love and presence is so thick and tangible that you can't move anywhere and not feel it. God doesn't care about age, smarts, status or abilities. God is no "respecter of persons" but will choose to use whomever He chooses so long as they're willing and are like, "God I choose You. I desire Your plans and purposes and to advance Your Kingdom."
The first night the campers were there, I was blown away at the level that God had impacted these young men I was leading already (not that I wasn't expecting God to move mightily, but more like I was surprised at how much my boys were attentively seeking after the Lord). That night, our speaker (Ryan Rhoden, whom by the way is somebody who I greatly respect and look up to and admire as a leader), was speaking about God is worth pursuing and that God is pursuing us. The main part of refining these young people was talking about removing the labels that the enemy has placed upon them and replacing them with God's truth. I can't tell you enough how amazing it is to speak God's truth over their lives and to say to them that God alone sets their value and there is nothing in all creation that can change the value God's placed upon His children.
Come the third night, I was somewhat discouraged because the second night wasn't as eventful or I guess "imperatively" upon their lives. However... I was dead wrong. God's presence was so thick and so powerful. All could feel God's Spirit moving throughout the chapel and touching lives. The cabin time afterward put a fire to my spirit. One of my boys, whom has had visions many times in his life, said that he's had a reoccurring one in which all that would happen is there would be a flash of light. Brilliant white light just for a second. I had no good idea to really pin onto it at first, but I sat in prayer for a second and I felt like God say/have me lean towards it being a glimpse into God's glory. That God is desiring to show this young man His glory for him to know what it looks like, feels like, so that he knows the real thing. One of my other boys was seeing that people were crying and upset and such, and he was like, "I want to help them, God! Help me to help them!" Immediately God gave him the ability to feel what people are feeling, which I feel like is something of a strong compassion/sympathy that only the Lord can give. The best part about it is that this young man only feels it when he asks the Lord. This puts so much power in his ministry for his life and will do such amazing damage to the kingdom of darkness and for him to bring God's healing power and touch in those he encounters. I was so excited!
The last night we were there will go down in history as a day that shook the heavens and shifted history forever. It started off with the director, Jeremy Evans who has been my mentor and good friend for many, many years, spoke to the campers from Psalm 139 and spoke such great truth and power over the young people. You are God's treasure! To "hem you in and before" literally means to place you in a vault because of how valuable we are to Him. And probably the most important one is that "He is there." Whether we're making our beds in the depths of hell or if we're having the best day ever, God is always with us and is always is desiring to be in communion with us and no matter what, He loves us for ALL that we are and not for who we aren't or who we will become. Then, come the evening chapel time, we had no idea what God had in store for the campers. After Ryan had spoke, he planned to have us cabin leaders stand on either side of the aisle and create a "fire tunnel" for the campers to walk through while we lay hands on and pray for them. I have only partaken in one as a cabin leader and was pumped for it. (To give you some back info on God's faithfulness in this time, you should know that the whole day I had no voice whatsoever and was barely able to talk. Once this service started, my voice was rejuvenated and I was able to pray and speak over every single camper that came in front of me, and there were MANY. Next, my legs had kinda been falling apart starting with shin splints on my left shin, then the pain shifting to my right calf with some gnarly knots in them then the tendons in my left foot were crazily acting up and hurting a lot. However, right as the service started, I felt no pain, and I was dancing, jumping up and down and getting crazy during worship. The only pain that I felt, other than soreness from standing for several hours praying over students, was after the we had finished and I was heading to bed. God is so good!)
I want to share a few of the words I gave to some students. The first one, whom I will call Kyle, stepped in front of me and I know his brother (rather everyone does) and his brother is a very cool guy. I start off with saying that you have an incredible brother and that there's nothing wrong with that. Relating with him, I was known as Aaron's younger brother or Eric's younger brother and never as Jordan that much because my brothers are very, very cool. I told him that in the eyes of the Lord, that he is not just (I'll call him Brian) Brian's brother, but God sees him as Kyle; just Kyle and that's all that matters. Tears began to stream down his face in hearing that God calls him by his own name and not by the people he's related to. (God does that for all of us, by the way. He calls each and every one of us by name.) Later I thought "What would I have given for somebody to tell me that when I needed it!" I believe that it freed him from expectations to being just like his brother and to be his own person, seeking after the Father. Next was for a girl that melted my heart when this happened: having had the formal dinner for camp just a little bit ago, she was still in it. I said to her, "You know how fathers have pet names for their daughters? God's pet name for you is 'Precious.' You are so precious and valuable in God's sight and He loves you so much." And after telling her that God says that she is beautiful, tears began streaming down her face and she embraced me so tightly, while choking me up and warming my heart. Speaking beauty of God's princesses is an experience that changes a life, and for them to believe it is something entirely all its own. God is good! Next, it was another young lady, who was wearing a flower in her hair. (God began to give me words for me through what they were wearing and such, or what was on their shirts or whatever; we serve a very creative God!) I told her, "You know, flowers are something that represent beauty and are very beautiful. God calls you His flower; you are so beautiful in His eyes." Sure enough, tears rolled down her face.
And to be honest, both of those girls that I spoke their beauty to, really were very cute girls and to think at such a young age that they already don't regard themselves as beautiful or worthy of God's love, is to just be in shock at how much overtime the enemy has worked to cripple the women of God. As an older brother, a man with an older brother's heart, which is progressively forming into a father's heart for people, it infuriates me to see that, to see girls crippled by those lies that they aren't beautiful and will do anything to get complemented or feel special when all that they gotta do is sit in the heavenly Father's lap and hear Him whisper His love and speak their beauty to. So I say this: ladies, girls, women, hear the words of the Father: You are beautiful. I call you My beloved and you are the one I treasure. I desire your heart and for you to know that all you need is My love and My definition for you. You are the apple of My eye."
Another: gentlemen, boys, men, hear God's heart for you: "Don't be so proud to think that you don't need Me. The greatest end for man is to pleasure in Me and in order for that, you need Me. To admit need isn't to admit you're weak but rather that you're strength is rooted in One who created all things."
Live in God's love.
WHOA!
The first night the campers were there, I was blown away at the level that God had impacted these young men I was leading already (not that I wasn't expecting God to move mightily, but more like I was surprised at how much my boys were attentively seeking after the Lord). That night, our speaker (Ryan Rhoden, whom by the way is somebody who I greatly respect and look up to and admire as a leader), was speaking about God is worth pursuing and that God is pursuing us. The main part of refining these young people was talking about removing the labels that the enemy has placed upon them and replacing them with God's truth. I can't tell you enough how amazing it is to speak God's truth over their lives and to say to them that God alone sets their value and there is nothing in all creation that can change the value God's placed upon His children.
Come the third night, I was somewhat discouraged because the second night wasn't as eventful or I guess "imperatively" upon their lives. However... I was dead wrong. God's presence was so thick and so powerful. All could feel God's Spirit moving throughout the chapel and touching lives. The cabin time afterward put a fire to my spirit. One of my boys, whom has had visions many times in his life, said that he's had a reoccurring one in which all that would happen is there would be a flash of light. Brilliant white light just for a second. I had no good idea to really pin onto it at first, but I sat in prayer for a second and I felt like God say/have me lean towards it being a glimpse into God's glory. That God is desiring to show this young man His glory for him to know what it looks like, feels like, so that he knows the real thing. One of my other boys was seeing that people were crying and upset and such, and he was like, "I want to help them, God! Help me to help them!" Immediately God gave him the ability to feel what people are feeling, which I feel like is something of a strong compassion/sympathy that only the Lord can give. The best part about it is that this young man only feels it when he asks the Lord. This puts so much power in his ministry for his life and will do such amazing damage to the kingdom of darkness and for him to bring God's healing power and touch in those he encounters. I was so excited!
The last night we were there will go down in history as a day that shook the heavens and shifted history forever. It started off with the director, Jeremy Evans who has been my mentor and good friend for many, many years, spoke to the campers from Psalm 139 and spoke such great truth and power over the young people. You are God's treasure! To "hem you in and before" literally means to place you in a vault because of how valuable we are to Him. And probably the most important one is that "He is there." Whether we're making our beds in the depths of hell or if we're having the best day ever, God is always with us and is always is desiring to be in communion with us and no matter what, He loves us for ALL that we are and not for who we aren't or who we will become. Then, come the evening chapel time, we had no idea what God had in store for the campers. After Ryan had spoke, he planned to have us cabin leaders stand on either side of the aisle and create a "fire tunnel" for the campers to walk through while we lay hands on and pray for them. I have only partaken in one as a cabin leader and was pumped for it. (To give you some back info on God's faithfulness in this time, you should know that the whole day I had no voice whatsoever and was barely able to talk. Once this service started, my voice was rejuvenated and I was able to pray and speak over every single camper that came in front of me, and there were MANY. Next, my legs had kinda been falling apart starting with shin splints on my left shin, then the pain shifting to my right calf with some gnarly knots in them then the tendons in my left foot were crazily acting up and hurting a lot. However, right as the service started, I felt no pain, and I was dancing, jumping up and down and getting crazy during worship. The only pain that I felt, other than soreness from standing for several hours praying over students, was after the we had finished and I was heading to bed. God is so good!)
I want to share a few of the words I gave to some students. The first one, whom I will call Kyle, stepped in front of me and I know his brother (rather everyone does) and his brother is a very cool guy. I start off with saying that you have an incredible brother and that there's nothing wrong with that. Relating with him, I was known as Aaron's younger brother or Eric's younger brother and never as Jordan that much because my brothers are very, very cool. I told him that in the eyes of the Lord, that he is not just (I'll call him Brian) Brian's brother, but God sees him as Kyle; just Kyle and that's all that matters. Tears began to stream down his face in hearing that God calls him by his own name and not by the people he's related to. (God does that for all of us, by the way. He calls each and every one of us by name.) Later I thought "What would I have given for somebody to tell me that when I needed it!" I believe that it freed him from expectations to being just like his brother and to be his own person, seeking after the Father. Next was for a girl that melted my heart when this happened: having had the formal dinner for camp just a little bit ago, she was still in it. I said to her, "You know how fathers have pet names for their daughters? God's pet name for you is 'Precious.' You are so precious and valuable in God's sight and He loves you so much." And after telling her that God says that she is beautiful, tears began streaming down her face and she embraced me so tightly, while choking me up and warming my heart. Speaking beauty of God's princesses is an experience that changes a life, and for them to believe it is something entirely all its own. God is good! Next, it was another young lady, who was wearing a flower in her hair. (God began to give me words for me through what they were wearing and such, or what was on their shirts or whatever; we serve a very creative God!) I told her, "You know, flowers are something that represent beauty and are very beautiful. God calls you His flower; you are so beautiful in His eyes." Sure enough, tears rolled down her face.
And to be honest, both of those girls that I spoke their beauty to, really were very cute girls and to think at such a young age that they already don't regard themselves as beautiful or worthy of God's love, is to just be in shock at how much overtime the enemy has worked to cripple the women of God. As an older brother, a man with an older brother's heart, which is progressively forming into a father's heart for people, it infuriates me to see that, to see girls crippled by those lies that they aren't beautiful and will do anything to get complemented or feel special when all that they gotta do is sit in the heavenly Father's lap and hear Him whisper His love and speak their beauty to. So I say this: ladies, girls, women, hear the words of the Father: You are beautiful. I call you My beloved and you are the one I treasure. I desire your heart and for you to know that all you need is My love and My definition for you. You are the apple of My eye."
Another: gentlemen, boys, men, hear God's heart for you: "Don't be so proud to think that you don't need Me. The greatest end for man is to pleasure in Me and in order for that, you need Me. To admit need isn't to admit you're weak but rather that you're strength is rooted in One who created all things."
Live in God's love.
WHOA!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Back to the Basics
Hebrews 10:19-23 "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."
No matter where you are in life, no matter the profession, we have "basics" that are foundational to what will have us succeed. For basketball, dribbling, ball handling, stamina, shooting and such are what keep a player go on through a strong career. It doesn't matter, the basics are what will keep us grounded and on a solid foundation. The most basic tenant of our faith is that Jesus died for our sins, but is also the most important thing in the world for us. The process of which Jesus dying for us, He tore the veil that stood between us and God. This "curtain" that is referenced is the curtain that stood between the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place in the temple where the Ark of the Covenant and the Shekina Glory (God's manifest presence) dwelled. Only the high priest could enter it, once a year, to make sacrifice for sins of the nation of Israel and for himself. This was where atonement was made for Israel year after year. This was a big deal and a shadow of things to come.
Once Jesus died, the curtain (which was incredibly thick and tall) was torn in two, signaling that there is no longer a barrier between us and God. Because of sin, there had been a great chasm, a barrier that was impossible to cross. At Christ's death and resurrection, the chasm bridged, the barrier broken down and nothing in all creation can stand between us and Him, now. So now, there's this amazing opportunity to come and commune with the King, which is why we were originally created, freely without anything in all creation to stand in our way. There's no real reason for us not to enter into the Holy of Holies now. What's holding us back?
So let me ask you, why are you putting a veil up? Who are you to push away the God who loves you so passionately, intensely, sincerely and tenderly? Why are you saying, "Thanks for Your sacrifice, Jesus, but I don't really need it"? Why spit in the face of He who loves you and died for you? Let me tell you this, anything that you feel "disqualifies" you or makes you inadequate for the salvation that God offers us is a sham. It's not true; nothing disqualifies us because God qualifies us. Your placing of a barrier between you and God is only putting Jesus upon the cross again and saying that His sacrifice wasn't enough! Heed the words of Ephesians 2:8-10 "For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which GOD PREPARED IN ADVANCE FOR US TO DO." (Sure, that perhaps doesn't necessarily pertain to salvation to a "t"... but the "good works" that God has prepared for us, He wouldn't call us to them if He didn't think that we weren't "worthy" of it.) Don't excuse yourself from life to day on the pretense of your past. (quote from August Burns Red song "Existence")
On the basis of you feeling "unworthy", not "good enough", in regards to God's makes you love, or to love in general, I have blunt words: those are lies from the pit of hell! Evidence is screaming at you otherwise about how worthy you really are of God's love. One thing makes you "worth it:" Jesus' death and resurrection. He deemed you worthy by His death and rising. Don't you dare call Christ a liar; when He declares that you are worth it, live with it! Wouldn't you rather walking around feeling worth it and not worth it? Walking around with hope instead of despair? Everything in scripture screams at us that we are worthy of His love because of His death on the cross. It's true, we do not deserve it, we deserved death. However, in the face of that truth, Christ declared a new one: "I love My children, they are worth My love because I choose to die for them." Dare to challenge me? Check the gospels, check the epistles, check the entire Bible. God placed great value in us, and declared that we are worthy of His love solely by His choice to die for us.
No matter where you are in life, no matter the profession, we have "basics" that are foundational to what will have us succeed. For basketball, dribbling, ball handling, stamina, shooting and such are what keep a player go on through a strong career. It doesn't matter, the basics are what will keep us grounded and on a solid foundation. The most basic tenant of our faith is that Jesus died for our sins, but is also the most important thing in the world for us. The process of which Jesus dying for us, He tore the veil that stood between us and God. This "curtain" that is referenced is the curtain that stood between the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place in the temple where the Ark of the Covenant and the Shekina Glory (God's manifest presence) dwelled. Only the high priest could enter it, once a year, to make sacrifice for sins of the nation of Israel and for himself. This was where atonement was made for Israel year after year. This was a big deal and a shadow of things to come.
Once Jesus died, the curtain (which was incredibly thick and tall) was torn in two, signaling that there is no longer a barrier between us and God. Because of sin, there had been a great chasm, a barrier that was impossible to cross. At Christ's death and resurrection, the chasm bridged, the barrier broken down and nothing in all creation can stand between us and Him, now. So now, there's this amazing opportunity to come and commune with the King, which is why we were originally created, freely without anything in all creation to stand in our way. There's no real reason for us not to enter into the Holy of Holies now. What's holding us back?
So let me ask you, why are you putting a veil up? Who are you to push away the God who loves you so passionately, intensely, sincerely and tenderly? Why are you saying, "Thanks for Your sacrifice, Jesus, but I don't really need it"? Why spit in the face of He who loves you and died for you? Let me tell you this, anything that you feel "disqualifies" you or makes you inadequate for the salvation that God offers us is a sham. It's not true; nothing disqualifies us because God qualifies us. Your placing of a barrier between you and God is only putting Jesus upon the cross again and saying that His sacrifice wasn't enough! Heed the words of Ephesians 2:8-10 "For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which GOD PREPARED IN ADVANCE FOR US TO DO." (Sure, that perhaps doesn't necessarily pertain to salvation to a "t"... but the "good works" that God has prepared for us, He wouldn't call us to them if He didn't think that we weren't "worthy" of it.) Don't excuse yourself from life to day on the pretense of your past. (quote from August Burns Red song "Existence")
On the basis of you feeling "unworthy", not "good enough", in regards to God's makes you love, or to love in general, I have blunt words: those are lies from the pit of hell! Evidence is screaming at you otherwise about how worthy you really are of God's love. One thing makes you "worth it:" Jesus' death and resurrection. He deemed you worthy by His death and rising. Don't you dare call Christ a liar; when He declares that you are worth it, live with it! Wouldn't you rather walking around feeling worth it and not worth it? Walking around with hope instead of despair? Everything in scripture screams at us that we are worthy of His love because of His death on the cross. It's true, we do not deserve it, we deserved death. However, in the face of that truth, Christ declared a new one: "I love My children, they are worth My love because I choose to die for them." Dare to challenge me? Check the gospels, check the epistles, check the entire Bible. God placed great value in us, and declared that we are worthy of His love solely by His choice to die for us.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Hidden Reality
Earlier today I was reading in Brennan Manning's book "Abba's Child; The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging." Normally my reading consists of the usual head nods and agreement with what the author saying and such. However, the Holy Spirit's conviciton was palpable for me, it was a little alarming, quite honestly. The first chapter was entitled "Come Out of Hiding," speaking to the hearts of those who are "hiding" from God and for those who feel that God only likes them when times are good but not when they are ugly. When I first read that chapter, the words on every page resonated with me; it was incredible to see how much the words of a man, inspired by the Holy Spirit, touched my heart. Once I ventured over to the second chapter, that's when God's Spirit was really touching my heart. It was talking about having a "false self;" the self that comes out due to some sort of tramatic experience in our child hood or due to some "lack" in our lives and so it comes out to try to supplement that lack by things like people pleasing or the constant seeking of affirmation. It was all to due with fear, the fear of if I show who I really am inside, I will be rejected and then I will be alone, realizing my worst fear.
Now, this isn't the first time God has brought to my attention of putting a facade for people to see, instead of actually "showing off" my brokenness to the public. I've had a history, though of being a guy who is open, who doesn't hide much, however to prove to myself in some fashion, there are some things that I wouldn't reveal to you. I thought, "If you knew all of me, you would think me dirty, a loser and a failure. I can't show you ALL of me; I can show you most but all? No, that's too much." You see, I could trust God, I could rely on Him accepting me for all that I am, but humans? No, no, that's too risky. Then I'm shown this: if I preach not to fear man, what they think about you but to live solely for the Audience of One, for His applause. Yet, if I'm not living it out, where is my credibility for what I teach if I'm not living it myself? Somethings happened to me that has caused me to not feel "safe" around people. Maybe it's because I see myself, and if I c an't take the ugly that it's my own life, then why would anybody take me for all that I am? But then I'm reminded of this amazing verse: "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer." 2 Corinthians 5:17. My flesh tells me that nobody is trustworthy, and if I present myself vulnerable to anyone, it is inevitable for me to be wounded. If were to go on farther on in the scripture there, it goes to say that "if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come!" I coudln't even trust God in you, now that's a problem if I say that I can trust God with all my stuff, but for those who know Christ, I still coudln't trust you. Thank God He has showed this to me now where I can give it to Him so that it doesn't grow into something bigger and more dangerous. What thrives in the darkness, dies in the light and if I'm not willing to share with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ what's going on, the thing that's living in the darkness will only get bigger and more dangerous for me. God's conviction is such a gift, and we would be wise to always heed His voice and leading in what we need to give over to Him. Life isn't life if all you're doing is hiding and "protecting" yourself. Be real, allow healing to begin by being yourself with people. It's true, we're broken people, but in order to be "fixed," you gotta reach out and the only One who can fix us is Christ. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.
Now, this isn't the first time God has brought to my attention of putting a facade for people to see, instead of actually "showing off" my brokenness to the public. I've had a history, though of being a guy who is open, who doesn't hide much, however to prove to myself in some fashion, there are some things that I wouldn't reveal to you. I thought, "If you knew all of me, you would think me dirty, a loser and a failure. I can't show you ALL of me; I can show you most but all? No, that's too much." You see, I could trust God, I could rely on Him accepting me for all that I am, but humans? No, no, that's too risky. Then I'm shown this: if I preach not to fear man, what they think about you but to live solely for the Audience of One, for His applause. Yet, if I'm not living it out, where is my credibility for what I teach if I'm not living it myself? Somethings happened to me that has caused me to not feel "safe" around people. Maybe it's because I see myself, and if I c an't take the ugly that it's my own life, then why would anybody take me for all that I am? But then I'm reminded of this amazing verse: "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer." 2 Corinthians 5:17. My flesh tells me that nobody is trustworthy, and if I present myself vulnerable to anyone, it is inevitable for me to be wounded. If were to go on farther on in the scripture there, it goes to say that "if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone the new has come!" I coudln't even trust God in you, now that's a problem if I say that I can trust God with all my stuff, but for those who know Christ, I still coudln't trust you. Thank God He has showed this to me now where I can give it to Him so that it doesn't grow into something bigger and more dangerous. What thrives in the darkness, dies in the light and if I'm not willing to share with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ what's going on, the thing that's living in the darkness will only get bigger and more dangerous for me. God's conviction is such a gift, and we would be wise to always heed His voice and leading in what we need to give over to Him. Life isn't life if all you're doing is hiding and "protecting" yourself. Be real, allow healing to begin by being yourself with people. It's true, we're broken people, but in order to be "fixed," you gotta reach out and the only One who can fix us is Christ. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.
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