Old Wine Skins

Recently I have heard God say to me: "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse.  Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” Note the bold for me, because that is the emphasis on which I am speaking.  You've read that I went to an incredible "program/school" named Anthem down in Medford and that I've been back since early June.  In the process, all the growth, all the maturing, and all the stregnthening of my faith is the "new wine" that has been allotted me.  And so, not even intentionally, while coming back here, I settled into some old wineskins, and it took until now to actually see it and to acknowledge the "stretching and tearing" that I've been seeing.  In some aspects of my life, I nearly expected it to be different OR to adhere to the fact that I've grown and that I'm a different person, therefore you MUST act and treat me in a way that reflects the way I've grown.  Funny, though, people don't normally do that.  Expectations are horrible because if they aren't met, you're robbed of so much that could be. 
     And so, what has persisted is that I've practically "allowed" an old wineskin to be substituted for the new that I've had.  I still have the new wineskin with me, however, it's not like I've felt forced into it, but I've been so concerned with fitting in and not offending people by my growth in the Lord.  (Then I'm thinking, if they're offended by my growth in the Lord, who's the immature one?  Who needs to hold people with open hands and allow them to grow?  Sheesh... don't get me on a soap box please.)  Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to seem like I'm constantly judging and also looking over my shoulder to ensure that I'm walking the straight and narrow.  I don't do that, and when I do I'm not very successful in that regard.  There's been something's that has changed in me recently that has me forgetting that the gospel is offensive.  It spits right in the face of humanity, saying that we are weak, that we need a Savior, and that left to ourselves WE ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  We don't like to hear that do we?  Especially if you're a guy; being told you can't do it on your own is something that sparks a fire and it's like a challenge.  We can't meet this one though.  However, I've adhered to people's opinions of me, being so concerned of the approval of man that I've forgotten that I live in the approval of my heavenly Father.  After all, an opinion is something so fleeting and changes within the day, why concern yourself with the opinion of man?  My God's opinion or me is very good, all I gotta do is look at the manger, the cross, the empty tomb and throne and that's evidence enough for me.  Isn't it enough for me to be content with the Creator King of the universe loving me and also approving of me?  Hmm...
     I've come to a point where, yes I am totally content with what I have, with all the material "possessions" that I have, but I ; I am cetainly not content with where I am in my relationship with the Lord.  I don't want to just be where I'm at, I want to go deeper and I want to advance His kingdom in a manner that isn't paralleled.  Don't think for a minute, though that I think I'm better than any of you.  I know far better than to think that, because the ground is level at the foot of the cross.  My desire is to grow ever deeper, and to pursue ever harder my Lord and advance His Kingdom.  And in this, I've realized this one thing:  this world is not my home.  There's a reason I've been feeling as out of place as I have recently; it's because I'm not home here.  Ultimately my home is in heaven with the Lord.  On this earth, though, my home is wherever the Lord determines it for me.  I want to be in any one place until my Lord Jesus Christ tells me to "Go" and then I go. 
     My desire for the Lord, and my passion has grown in expanding measure and is not easily quenched.  Only is it quenched in the mighty fire of God.  (Perhaps I'm beating a dead horse in even saying this right here, but I don't want you to think that I'm "holier than thou" with my desire and with all that the Lord is teaching me; I just want you to understand my heart and that in growing, God is making me to be a man who is Kingdom-minded, looking to advance is Kingdom.)  I won't be content with just living and going by.  I don't live to impress, but to impact.  I desire to live in a manner that points to Christ as Savior and Lord of my life and for those who don't know Him, to love them into the Kingdom of God.  My utmost for His highest; I'm one of the "fools" that has laid all of my chips on the table and only God knows what's next. 
     Here we go!