Dear Graduates

     This time of year is a season of graduation.  I'm beginning to wonder which scripture is more appropriate: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a hope and a future." Or James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  Or maybe even having them together.  At this time of life, we don't really want to speak about the difficulties that may arise in life.  All we want to hear is about a hope and a future and prosperity.  I would even dare to add Proverbs 19:20-21 "Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.  Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand."

     God definitely has good things for our futures.  I cannot deny His promise.  However, He also told us that we will have trouble in this world, but the greater promise is that He has overcome the world.  In Proverbs it says "the horse is prepared for the day of battle, but victory belongs to the Lord."  You will face difficulty; I'm not going to lie and tell you that while God knows His plans for you and they are for your good that you won't encounter pain.  I do not desire it upon anyone; pain sucks.  However, the greatest reality in life is that there has always been one Constant in your life today and forevermore: God.  He "will never leave you nor forsake you."  He walks with you "holding your right hand."  In my experience, I have been in the Refiners fire since I graduated, and there has been pain and struggle.  Was I ever alone? Never.  Jeremiah 17:9 says that the "heart is deceitful above all else and beyond cure, who can understand it?"  My emotions, what I felt may have told me that I was alone during those tribulations, but the truth--what God says--is that He has been with me, even before I was following Him.

     Take risks.  Don't be afraid to fail.  If you do, there is One who is beside you, behind and before you.  The struggle is real, but your Savior is greater.  He will not let you be burned by the fire, nor be overtaken by the waters.  Run, graduate, the race God has set before you, and do is all with your best as unto Christ.  Remember:  "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him--as Lord, King, Savior--and He will make your paths straight."  The greatest thing I can tell you is that you don't have what it takes, because you don't have to.  If all you do is struggle to please your Savior, you've been misled, because you are fully pleasing to Him already.  There is a limited amount of time set before you, God has granted you with amazing gifts and has set before you a path to walk.  Hold fast to Him, because HE HAS WHAT IT TAKES.  (I don't say any of this to make you not do what God has set before you with all your heart.  Don't find the strength within yourself; find it in your Heavenly Father.)  Philippians 3:7-14 "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  More than that, I count all things to be loss in the view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.  Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one things I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Keep Calm and Look to the Cross.

Now, some might say it's not healthy to look to the cross, because "Jesus isn't there" anymore.  Perhaps they misunderstand, but as I gaze upon the old rugged cross, I think about what it means.  I think about the great implications of all that went on in Jesus' last days.  Jesus endured more than just the cross, but that was the greatest of them all.  In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus was wrestling with God about going to the cross.  Yet, He surrendered when He said "Your will be done."  Some say that Jesus really died in the Garden, for that's where He surrendered.  Next, Judas comes to betray Jesus, and His response kills me every time.  Jesus calls him "friend."  And as that all was happening, every one of His disciples desert Him; even the head-strong zealot Peter denied Him three times. Beatings, lashings, insults, betrayal.  If there is one who deserved vengeance, it's Jesus for He was completely innocent.  Jesus didn't defend Himself; He had something greater in mind.  He entrusted Himself to the one who judges justly.  The most remarkable thing about this horrible tale is that Jesus did it all for me.  For you.
     After His resurrection, Jesus welcomes His disciples as brothers.  He doesn't cast them out because they deserted Him.  Even Peter who thrice denies Him was "restored."  James wrote that "mercy triumphs over judgment."  As I relate this to myself, no, I've never denied Jesus three times, nor did I betray Him into the hands of sinners.  And I believe that Judas was--and is--still deeply loved by Jesus and was heartbroken over his choice.  Jesus doesn't compare, nor show partiality to anyone, so should I ever feel unloved by my Jesus?  In the fire, how could it ever come to my mind that I should require Jesus to show me more love than by all that He did His last days into His resurrection?  It's that my emotions sometimes lie to me, though they tell me what's going on underneath.  That is why I must trust my God, the word of God more than my feelings.  For my heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.
    Therefore, keep calm and look to the cross.

Identity Crisis

     Paul was an extraordinary man.  Incredibly intelligent, an eloquent speaker and a bold man, who through the power of Jesus, changed the world.  The Gospel was advanced mightily through Paul.  However, he had a past and a different name in that past: Saul.  Saul means "ask for" or "prayed for."  And Paul means "small" or "humbled."  Now, there is no doubt that God called Paul and He "asked for" him on that Damascus intervention, but it's peculiar to me that God changed his name to mean "small."  Eventually Paul would go on to write to the Corinthian church that he seeks to know nothing but Christ crucified when he preaches, so that nobody would be swayed by human reasoning or put stock in Paul himself, but in the saving power of Jesus Christ.  God humbled--made Paul small--to show the greatness and power of God through him.  He used the "weak things of this world to shame the strong, and the foolish things of this world to shame the wise."
     God changed the names of several people: Jacob (deceiver) to Israel (struggles with God); Abram (high father) and Sarai (my princess) to Abraham (father of many) and Sarah (lady or princess); Simon (he has heard) to Peter (stone, or rock.) (I believe it says Jesus called him Peter [Cephas] instead of Simon.)  God has an identity for us all.  Outside of Him we are in an identity crisis--it's not stolen, but counterfeit.  If not for sin, the identity would have would be the genuine article, however that is not the case.  When we come to Christ, we are a "new creation;" yet I believer that we transition into how God had originally created us.  Which, incidentally never existed because of sin until we give our lives over to the Lord.  We don't need to make a name change, but sometimes--many times-- we must change our pattern of thinking and how we even talk/relate to ourselves.  We must have our minds transformed by the renewing of our minds in the word of God to see how God defines us.
     In high school I had many nicknames; there was one that remained constant, though: Knappy.  I enjoyed it, partly because there was a plethora of Jordans at my school.  In time, though, Knappy soon became a persona I made--it was a wall that I could hide behind.  And though God certainly creates us with defense mechanisms, going into adulthood those can actually become detrimental.  In the year that I was at a discipleship program after high school, the primary aspect God was working on my life was my identity.  He began to pull me out of "Knappy," and growing me into Jordan, the man of God.  And even now, God has been revealing this to me: God doesn't love Knappy; He loves Jordan.  I created Knappy, but He created Jordan.  I'm not saying "Knappy" isn't special, nor am I saying that there are aspects of Knappy God didn't create in me.  Of course God created me to be the goof ball, light hearted man I am.  But He didn't create me to hide and run away from pain.  God created me to walk through pain with Him.
     That being said, having been back in LG for a couple years and in that familiar territory, old ways of thinking have resurfaced.  Old patterns are coming back.  I should know better than to just let them come, and not fight back.  In this though, it also has caused me to fall into ways of self-degradation, and self-destruction.  It's easy to say something was my fault entirely, or to always find fault in myself.  Sure, taking ownership for one's short comings are good, but not at the expense of thinking you're the scum of the earth.  With that being said, it's coming as no shock to me that where I used to say that I liked myself, look in the mirror and say, "you're cool, bro."  Now it's progressed to "I tolerate myself and only looking at myself when I shave, or at the gym.  God didn't create me to despise myself.  How can I "love thy neighbor as thyself" if I can't even say that I like me?
     A low view of myself means that I'm fine engaging in things that are beneath how God has created me to be.  If I'm a prince, why would I accept anything less than the inheritance that the King has appointed mine?  Why choose the crumbs that fall off the table rather than the feast that has been prepared for me?  I'm a child of the King of kings, a chosen of the Almighty; how dare I spit in the face of the Creator and tell Him I'm not worthy of the things HE gave me?  Obviously, if he died for me, then the value on my life is greater than I can even fathom.  Why would the Hero die for the villain; or the King die for a prisoner?  It doesn't matter; God didn't die for trash.  Don't call anything dirty or worthless which God has made clean and declared the apply of His eye.  If I understood that to Him I am beloved, then I should not regard myself as the scum of the earth.  The evidence points to the opposite.  I should live with a confidence that I am cherished, chosen, redeemed.  I shouldn't accept the scraps when I'm being offered choice morsels. 
     There's no doubt that this will take time.  I'm hurt, I'm scarred and have more insecurities than I ever that I had.  But through God's grace, my road to the identity and person Jesus Christ chose me to be is not blocked.  It's no lost cause.  I can't be by my effort, though.  that's what got me here in the first place.  I gotta do it by the power of Christ in me, because His GRACE IS ENOUGH.

IDENTITY

IDENTITY

            There’s an identity crisis happening throughout the world.  It’s not that identities are being stolen and credit card fraud is happening.  No, I’m talking about a much more malicious and deadly identity crisis.  This case is crippling, stifling, poisoning to anybody’s walk in any part of life.  We’ve been handed a counterfeit identity.  False ideas of who we are, lies that have sank into our hearts that have become truths in our lives.  To not know who you are is to not know who you’re created to be.  It’s what we know we aren’t that makes us who we are.  Let me number off a few things that you are not: worthless, stupid, a mistake, weak, not good enough. 

            You are valuable. If I have a dollar bill and I crumple it up, what is it worth?  What if I step on it repeatedly? Spit on it? Even yell at it?  Has the dollar lost its worth because of what I’ve done to it? I don’t think so.  Such is the case with us.  When we were created, at the very outset, God places such a high value on us.  The first part of your identity is that you’re worth far much more than you could ever imagine.  When the Creator, the King of the Universe sees that you’re dying in sin, and though you don’t deserve His love or sacrifice, declares anyway that, “you are Mine” and that He will die for you, I believe that speaks volumes to who you are and what you mean to the Lord.  To start with, can anybody say that they’ve gone to death and back to win your heart?  After such a value is placed upon your life—the life of Jesus—can anything really change it?  Your value is your identity and you have such high value.  “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7

            You are able.  Society doesn’t necessarily trample on us and tell us blatantly that we can’t do things, or that we’re unable to change the world.  Rather, it just preoccupies our time and steals our focus.  However, the enemy, the devil, loves to tell you that you can’t do anything.  See, you were created with great purpose and a mighty destiny was placed upon your life that scares the enemy.  What drives him is fear and hatred toward you.  Cite any young person in the Bible and tell me they didn’t do any incredible things.  David, a young man killed the giant Goliath.  Mary gave birth to Jesus.  Jeremiah was called to be a prophet at a young age.  Timothy was mentored by Paul and he was such a great catalyst to the advancing of the gospel.  “God used the weak things of this world to shame the strong, and the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”  Young people aren’t foolish in the least, but what society sometimes will place on you is the idea that you can’t do anything because you’re young.  However, that is not the case because “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” and also “My grace is enough for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”  Here’s the greatest thing: Jesus believes in you.  He doesn’t doubt you; there’s no doubt in His being.  Do you think He would have created you if He didn’t think that you were capable of great things?  Jesus believes in you!

            For my life, identity has always been a big thing.  It has always been the area that the enemy likes to attack the most, and where Jesus has battled for me the most in my life.  It’s not an area of weakness, but one of my greatest vulnerabilities.  I know I am loved, I know He has created me, but I don’t always know who I am.  In recent weeks, Jesus has been reminding me of who I am and who I am not.  One of my biggest fears is to be a failure and to let people down.  Recently I’ve felt like I’ve let Jesus down and I’ve disappointed Him.  The calling placed upon my life is great and I don’t feel like I’ve lived up to that calling.  I’ve lost passion; the dream for my life has seemed to have just slipped away.  Sunday night, I was feeling defeated, and I knew I need prayer.  I went to a friend, a role model really who I’ve looked up to for some time, and the biggest thing that stuck with me in what he said was this: “Me, as a human being who fails, who is imperfect, whenever I have looked at you, I’ve never been disappointed.  Nor have I been in doubt over the calling that’s been placed on your life.  Now, if I an imperfect man can say that I’ve never doubted you, then how much greater that Jesus has never doubted you!”  I’ve been in a battle to be reminded who I am in Christ, and how much value I have on my life.  I’m reminded of the scene in Lion King, when Mufasa is appearing in clouds to Simba and is saying “Remember who you are. You are my son.”  I feel like, in several occasions that my heavenly Father has gently grabbed my face to look into His eyes and for me to listen to Him say: You are my son.

            You are loved.  It’s not just that He loves you, He likes you as well!  I will hammer this so many times in my lifetime: there is only One who can say that has been to death and back for anything.  And that anything is you.  People can say they love you to the moon and back, but can they say, as Jesus can, that they love you to death and back?  Jesus went to the cross!  But even more than that, He rose!  He died a death we were supposed to die so that we could live a life that He should have lived.  Never have I heard a story of a King who died for the prisoner.  But that’s why He did, and He did it all for you.  Even if you were to be the only one on this planet, Jesus would have died for you.  Jesus never regretted dying for us either.  “God showed His love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”  Jesus already knew all of the sin we would commit when He died, but He did it anyway.  He thought it was worth it; shouldn’t we think we’re worth it, too?

            You are a child of God.  Ephesians 1:4-5 “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.  In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.”  When it says that He “adopted” us, it means that He chose us.  It was no mistake that God chose us.  You are His. 

Life, Again.

     What would I say life is most like?  Certainly it is a journey that must be traveled.  But what kind?  A race?  Climbing a mountain?  Life is too beautifully complex to nail it down do a single analogy.  What do I know is that life is good because it is directed by a good God.  He knows what He's doing and life is directed towards the purpose of which He desires.  he is a benevolent God, only desiring good for His creation.  And yes, sometimes difficulties come along, some times bad things do happen.  Death, disease, abuse and the like are not good things.  However, is God not big enough, is He not good enough, is the cross not powerful enough to bring life to such dead situations?  If something is difficult, it doesn't mean it's bad, and Jesus never said life would be easy.  He said there would be difficulties in this life, but also to "take heart! For I [He] has overcome the world."  We wouldn't ever need the power of God in our lives if we were able to handle it.  Would God's grace really be good enough?
     (My aim here isn't to sound crass.  Especially after the horrible events that transpired last week.  I pray that what I'm saying here is more an encouragement to lean into the Savior.  Allow the pain and the uncertainty of this world to push you into the arms of the Savior.)
     Even with the difficulties that arise, one shouldn't forget about the joys of life.  If life has no joy, then what is it really?  God gives good things; He is the originator of all things good.  We must remember that "good" has to be within the definition God gives it.  If something is good only because it benefits me, is it really good?  Is "good" then, in relation to whether or not it "feels good?"  Sometimes growing doesn't feel good; growing pains hurt!  But isn't growing a good thing, even with the pain?  Or how about when you work out?  It may hurt for a time, and muscles will probably get sore.  But aren't the benefits greater than the temporary discomfort?  I've realized pain really isn't a bad thing.  I certainly don't ask for it, or rejoice when it comes along, but I see that there are many more benefits than the temporary discomforts.  I look back at my life, and times that may have been the most difficult is where the most growth in my life happened.  The death of my grandmothers, Anthem (difficult, but so AWESOME), and the last year and a half.  There's always been joys and I pray God will keep them coming.  But, what I'm finding when it's hard is what an amazing dillema I have before me to be on the stormy seas with the Almighty who only desires good for me, as defined by Him.
     Maybe life is like being on a ship.  For a while, preparation is mandatory.  You gotta ready the ship for the open seas.  A season of waiting is necessary.  But once you're on the open water, sometimes it smooth sailing, others a mighty squall is rocking your boat left and right.  But, there's one Constant.  No matter what life may be.  If it's while being on the sea, climbing a mountain, whichever, there is only ever One that remains.  God.  He's always here.  He's never left.  Even as we feel like we're distant, it's because we've made ourselves distant.  But the beautiful thing?  We're never too far from the redeeming grace, the forgiving hand of God.  Most importantly, His love never fails, never gives up and never runs out on us.  And through triumph and tragedy, He never leaves.  "For I will never leave you nor forsake you."
God is forever faithful.

All Things New

2 Corinthians 5:21 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
Revelation 21:5  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

     I don't think I can tell you what I was like before I met Jesus.  I was in the third grade, nearly thirteen years ago.  On all counts I was probably an average little kid.  As far as I'm concerned, I was a good kid, but maybe I oughta ask my mom and dad.  I'm not discouraged by this, because I still walk with Jesus.  There's no denying in that moment I became a new creation, but I can't give you any detail of who I was before.  However, I can tell you who I was several years ago before I actually started walking with Jesus.  I was a hot head; my temper was my master.  Lust was my friend; I would jump at every chance to look at any form of pornography.  I was only concerned with "me"; how can I benefit?  What good will come of this for me?  Very rarely was I really concerned with "we."  Encountering and rededicating my life to Jesus flipped all of that around.  "We" suddenly became more important than "I."  Jesus is my Master--and Friend--not my temper.  I struggle with lust, sure, but it doesn't rule me; I can say no.
     Looking down the line, yes I'm certainly a different person.  I'm not who I was even a year ago.  I remember when I came back from Medford a year and a half ago, I decided that I was no longer "Knappy" but Jordan.  This wasn't just some individuality thing that I was wanting to just be Jordan.  No, "Knappy" had his own time, he had his place and he is no more.  Jesus didn't make Knappy, I did.  Why would I want to be someone that I'm not?  I'm the best at being me and nobody else can be me.  Don't get me wrong, I don't jump on anybody who calls me that; for some it sounds like I'm in trouble if they use "Jordan."  For those select few, they know who I am and who I used to be and they don't confuse the two.  And certainly, there have been events that have happened in my life that have helped to shape who I am, but ultimately I am clay in the hand of the Almighty.  I desire to be mold-able, conformed to the image that He desires me to be.  I won't bow to what any person will say about me, because my identity isn't within the mind of man.  It's within the mind of my Savior. 
     Recently, life hasn't been the smoothest.  I've had some incredible highs and some unfortunate lows as well.  I think I've been waiting for something "big" to happen in my life that will make everything change.  But, I've been finding that that's not the case; no life is about doing all the small things well.  The small things that you do well will progress into the big things of life.  Truthfully, life is in the little things; the majority of it is taken up by the small things.  One small step at a time, one day at a time.  God can certainly do big things, and He does do big things, but He's also the God of the small things too.  For instance, if you want to pray, nothing's going to happen unless you start to pray.  You begin a lifestyle of prayer by praying.  It's also like if you want to lift a lot of heavy weight.  If you've never worked out in your life, you won't be able to lift heavy things.  It takes a process of continually going to the gym and working out your muscles, working on the small weight and then progressively getting to the larger weights.  Life become big once you've mastered the small things.
     I have found that there is one constant to my life, and it will never change: Jesus.  I don't need to ask Him to come near me because He's always near me.  Sure, there are times where I feel like I step away, but does that mean He walks away, too?  He's not petty; His love is greater than that.  His hand is always on my shoulder, and there is nothing more reassuring than having somebody's hand placed on your shoulder.  It tells you that they're with you, that they got your back.  God's hand is always on my shoulder.  Is life always easy?  No, but Jesus is always with me and that makes life worth it.

Life

Luke 8:22-24
²² One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. ²³ As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.
²⁴ The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. ²⁵ “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.
In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”
     By now the disciples hadn't been with Jesus for very long, but they had witnessed His miracles, seeing He has great power.  If they hadn't already known He was God-incarnate, this instance may have at least solidified some "hunches."  Once the storm arose and their ship was being hammered, they panicked.  Jesus was sleeping; he knew all was well.  The fear of the disciples drove them to waking the Jesus Christ.  When Jesus said, "where's your faith?," He wasn't ridiculing them.  He saw fear drive them, not faith. 
     How about our own lives, now:  storms come.  Sometimes life is hard.  When something is hard it does not mean it's bad.  Now, God isn't asleep on our boat (I'll use it as an analogy for life, as well), because He never sleeps (Psalm 121).  Nothing shakes Him.  Nothing in our lives take God by surprise.  Now if fear drives us to run to the Father, that's good to a point.  Fear cannot be our master.  When life is hard, our faith must lead us to the Father.  In all circumstances, running to our Rock, our Fortress, is always the good plan.
Jesus never said life would be easy.  In fact, He said there would be trouble (16:33), but the greater pronouncement that we must "take heart!"  For I have overcome the world.  Nothing tells us that God only gives us what we could handle.  Sometimes life is just too big for us.  What God did say, though, is "My grace is enough for you."  Why as Christians would we say all we need if God, then say that He doesn't give us things we can't "handle?"  God's no masochist, He doesn't enjoy our pain, but He does use life's difficulties to draw us near to Him.  If what comes our way in life we can handle, then we have no dependence upon our God.  But life sometimes is much bigger than us.  Weakness isn't a bad thing, but rather evidence pointing toward our chronic dependence upon a completely sovereign God.
     God in the New Testament is the same as the God of the Old.  God's grace, love and mercy is just as prevalent in each of the testaments.  In Zechariah 3:4, God speaks of removing Joshua's sin (mercy), then giving Him rich garments (grace) as well.  In regard to grace and mercy, they're both supremely undeserved.  In mercy, God forgave our sins and washed us clean; in His grace He made us sons.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  In several of the OT prophets, God spoke through them and said, "Your sins are removed" or "I remember your sins no more.  In the NT, we see Jesus dying for us, removing our sin from us.  None of which warranted by us. 
     We can say that we aren't worthy all we want, and within ourselves, that is true.  But when I look at the cross, the empty tomb, I see a separate declaration:  you are worthy, you are worth it.  By His death and resurrection, Jesus said that we are worth it.  Dare we call Him a liar:  He went to death and back to win our hearts; who can say the same?  "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)  Before we were born Jesus died for us.  Before our first breath, Jesus laid down His life.  Being God, He knew the sins we would commit.  He died for those before we committed them.  What great love is this that the King would die for a rebel?  "Conventional" thinking would say the king would kill him.  Conventional thinking is not God's thinking.  God thinks the world of us, which is why He would rather die than to spend an eternity with us.  The veil is torn, the door is open and we can come to Him.  We can meet with Him.  Dare we refuse Him? 
Matthew 11:28-30 ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”